We suspect what you would like is a magical expression to make sure that the rapey asshole of a(n ex-)boyfriend will not respond poorly miss_elena adultchathookups he dislikes, and there isn’t such a phrase, because he’s a rapey asshole if you exercise agency in ways. All you could can perform in your end (after dumping their ass and locking straight straight down their use of you – if you are concerned about him responding badly to no within the minute, maybe you are well encouraged to be concerned about relatiation once you dump him) is look as well as see if there have been any red flags you ignored, resolve to accomplish better about separating with individuals whom exihibit them straight away in that case, and strive to alter our social norms to ensure that individuals (both would-be perpetrators and would-be or real victims) can better recognize just what comprises intimate assault and realize that it is categorically not ok.
(a good thing might have been for him to shut your boyfriend down whenever he attempted to get him to screw you in violation of one’s stated wishes, kick (ex-)Boyfriend away, while making certain you were safe before you could hook up with a pal or member of the family, though perhaps not planning to risk learning to be a target himself, specially since my read let me reveal that there is a good opportunity you could have sided together with your rapey boyfriend, is understandable. ) The advice as to what can be done is sensible, not a project of culpability; unfortuitously, provided that assholes occur, there is no secret way to avoid them totally, or even to merely cause them to become never be assholes. Real time, learn, and move ahead.
LW was not any longer eligible to have the specific intercourse she desired than either associated with males had been; she’s entitled simply to n’t have intercourse she does not want and have now sex that is mutually consensual. If he did something similar to really call her a bitch because of this, yes, he’s an asshole, but agreeing to just have intercourse under particular conditions – also ill-advised conditions like non-safe sex with strangers – and making if that is instead of offer is appropriate boundary behavior, maybe not asshole behavior. We wish individuals to leave if what they need – the ONLY thing they want – is not one thing one other individual is thinking about doing, instead of, state, pressuring another individual to disregard zir stated boundaries until ze cracks.
After which i eventually got to BucksFan’s follow-up remark; fine, Third had been additionally an asshole. If only it were simpler to write my thoughts as We get with no chance of losing them to a negative connection or web browser crash – by doing this i possibly could return back and delete things rendered redundant or incorrect by later on remarks – but it is currently an adequate amount of a discomfort to modify tabs to test parts of the page and scroll up and down seriously to read remarks after which type back at my phone without incorporating in swapping backwards and forwards from a word processing software.
@44: we had been disagreeing since it did not match that which was stated, perhaps maybe perhaps not as a result of sex. Being a woman does not magically make a person’s perception accurate or insulate one from self-serving as well as merely erroneous perception or recall. Yelling “Patriarchy! ” to shut any time someone down does not immediately accept a female’s viewpoint is not feminism (not minimum because 100% of females do not agree on a regular basis, therefore if two females disagree about a matter of known fact or jugdment, it is not even an alternative to trust both females by standard), it is simply imperious narcissism.
@61: he brought over here to rape me. If you wish to phone the authorities (and therefore could be your best option in many cases), choose, “My boyfriend is wanting to persuade another man” Re: 62, I would personally never be using your (ex-)boyfriend’s advice concerning just exactly exactly what comprises warning flags (you HAVE dumped him, no? ).